how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I can't turn off my feet"
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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