idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I need to align my fucking chakras
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Randomize