yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
