and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Randomize
