I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize