Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Randomize
