i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Randomize
