I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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