I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Randomize
