I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
