your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
