There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
pop tarts are not kleenex
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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