Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Randomize
