But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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