she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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