Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I FOUND THE LEGS
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
