Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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