I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
He better not be in your backpack
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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