I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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