Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize