okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Randomize
