im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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