I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
