she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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