nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Randomize
