Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
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