I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
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