There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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