If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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