We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
