i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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