im holly from the hills drunk
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Randomize
