chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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