We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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