So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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