Kareoke will never be a sober sport
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
