you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize