He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Randomize
