Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
