he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
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