Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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