Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
