I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
