I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
you inspire me to be a worse person
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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