Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Randomize
