She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Randomize
