So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Randomize
