I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
