Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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