Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Randomize