That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
