glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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