so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
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