Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
He felt like a one man threesome
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
