Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
