All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
